Why Vagus Nerve Hacks Aren't Enough

And what actually helps a chronically overwhelmed nervous system settle for good

Struggling for peace amidst chaos

If you've spent any time on social media lately, you've probably been told to stimulate your vagus nerve.

Cold exposure. Breathwork. Humming. Tapping. Gadgets. Exercises that promise to "switch off" your stress response.

And to be clear, the vagus nerve does matter.

But for many women living under chronic pressure, vagus nerve hacks feel like another thing that works briefly, then stops.

This isn't because you're doing it wrong.

It's because regulation is not the same as resolution.

What the Vagus Nerve Actually Does

The vagus nerve is the primary pathway of the parasympathetic nervous system, the part responsible for rest, digestion, connection, and recovery.

When vagal tone is healthy, your body can downshift after stress, move between states more flexibly, and return to baseline once a threat has passed.

That's why gentle vagus nerve stimulation can feel calming in the moment. It sends a signal to your brainstem that says: right now, you're safe.

For a nervous system that's simply over-stimulated, that signal can be enough.

But for a nervous system shaped by years of pressure, responsibility, and unresolved trauma, it's only part of the picture.

Why Vagus Nerve Techniques Often Stop Working

Many of the women I work with tell me the same thing:

"It helps, but only temporarily." "I feel calmer, then I'm back where I started." "I'm exhausted from regulating myself all the time."

This is where the misunderstanding lies.

Vagus nerve practices help your nervous system cope. They do not teach it that the danger has passed.

If your body learned over years that staying alert was necessary for survival, it will return to that pattern once the external regulation stops.

Not because you failed.

But because unresolved survival responses don't dissolve through sensation alone.

Your nervous system is still receiving the same internal signal it's been receiving for years: stay on guard. The temporary calm you get from humming or cold exposure doesn't override that deeper programming.

Regulation vs Resolution (This Matters)

Here's the distinction that changes everything.

Regulation helps you feel better now. Resolution changes what your nervous system learned then.

Vagus nerve practices calm the system in the moment, support safety signals, and reduce acute activation. They are supportive, not curative.

Resolution-based work addresses the incomplete survival responses stored in your nervous system, the ones that keep your body braced even when life is objectively safe.

Think about what happens when you successfully regulate using vagal techniques. Your nervous system feels calmer for a period of time. But nothing in that process has told your brainstem that the original threat is over. Nothing has completed the survival response that's been running in the background for years.

So when you stop the practice, when you finish the breathing exercise or the cold shower, your nervous system returns to its learned state.

Without resolution, regulation becomes something you have to keep doing.

That's why so many high-functioning women feel like rest is another job.

The Perfect Storm Nervous System

For what I call the Perfect Storm woman, the one juggling work, parenting, potentially neurodivergent children, hormonal shifts, emotional labour, and often a long history of coping, the nervous system isn't just overstimulated.

It's conditioned.

Conditioned to stay alert. To anticipate needs. To prevent collapse. To carry the invisible load.

This isn't a flaw. It's an adaptation. And it's a really intelligent one, given the circumstances you've been managing.

But here's the thing: adaptations don't disappear because you hum for 60 seconds or press a pressure point.

They persist because they're encoded in your nervous system as necessary for survival.

They resolve when your nervous system is finally allowed to complete what it never got to complete.

Where Vagus Nerve Support Does Belong

This doesn't mean vagus nerve practices are useless.

Used appropriately, they are powerful support tools, especially when integrated into trauma-informed work.

Gentle vagal supports can help your body feel safe enough to engage in deeper resolution work, reduce overwhelm during integration, and support sleep and digestion while patterns unwind.

Examples include slow rhythmic walking, gentle rocking or swaying, longer exhales than inhales, and soft pressure at the sternum or base of the skull.

These help your nervous system experience safety.

But experience alone does not rewrite deeply embedded survival learning.

It's the difference between showing your nervous system a moment of safety (which vagal practices do) and teaching it that it can stand down permanently (which only completion of unresolved responses can do).

Why TRTP Is Different

TRTP (The Richards Trauma Process) is not a regulation technique.

It's a resolution process.

It doesn't rely on breathing harder, focusing longer, or managing symptoms.

Instead, it allows your nervous system to process and complete unresolved trauma responses without re-triggering or reliving them.

When those responses resolve, something important changes. Your body no longer needs to stay on guard.

Sleep deepens naturally. The jaw softens without effort. The constant background tension fades.

Women often say they didn't realise how much energy was going into holding themselves together until it stopped.

That's resolution. That's what happens when your nervous system finally gets to finish what it's been trying to finish for years.

Why "Just Regulate" Can Become Another Burden

One of the quiet harms of nervous system trends is the subtle message they send: if you're still struggling, you just need to regulate better.

For women already carrying too much, this becomes another layer of self-blame. Another thing to get right. Another practice to maintain. Another responsibility.

But a nervous system shaped by chronic stress doesn't need more effort.

It needs completion.

There's a real difference. One keeps you on the hamster wheel of self-optimization. The other gets you off it.

So What Actually Helps Long-Term?

For lasting change, your nervous system needs safety and resolution, regulation and completion, support and relief from carrying it alone.

Vagus nerve practices can help your body settle.

Resolution-based trauma work helps your body stand down.

They are not competing approaches. But they are not interchangeable.

Think of it this way. Vagal practices are like turning down the alarm volume. They're helpful. They reduce the noise in the moment. But they don't address why the alarm has been going off for years in the first place.

Resolution is addressing why the alarm won't stop. It's the nervous system finally understanding that it doesn't need to keep sounding.

If You've Tried Everything

If you've regulated and regulated and regulated.

If calm never quite holds.

If you've done the breathing and the tapping and the cold showers and it all works until it doesn't.

It doesn't mean you're resistant or broken.

It means your nervous system is still protecting you the only way it knows how.

And protection can be gently released, when it's finally met at the right level.