You've been calling every big emotion a "trigger." Anger, grief, boundary heat, tears in meetings, if it feels strong, it gets the label. But that might be the thing keeping you stuck in self-monitoring instead of self-trust.

Here's what actually matters: there's a neurological difference between an activated emotion (which is you doing emotional adulthood) and a trigger (which is your nervous system stuck in the past). When you confuse the two, you pathologise normal emotional life and miss the places that actually need healing.

This article walks you through the neuroscience, your window of tolerance, why your thinking brain goes offline during triggers, and why understanding a pattern isn't the same as resolving it. You'll learn how to tell the difference in your own nervous system, and what it actually looks like when healing has happened (spoiler: it's not emotional flatness).

And if you're still caught in those repeating patterns despite all your insight? That's your signal. Your nervous system is looking for completion, not control.